Today’s Northumberland has been speaking to this individual regarding their story. But when they sent this letter – there are no other words that need to be added.
Neither of the police officers involved in the interaction are NOT the officer featured in a recent release by Cobourg Police
Asking for Help Shouldn’t Hurt – One Person’s Journey
Like many people I have struggled with anxiety and depression for many years but have been able to function “normally” with medication.
After a recent hospital stay for a virus where my meds were changed due to an interaction I found myself in a very dark place.
I’m choosing to tell my story because any of us who struggle with mental health can find ourselves here, and we all deserve dignity and respect.
If even just one person can connect to my story, then sharing my horrifying vulnerability was all worthwhile.
I had some dark thoughts, some very dark thoughts, and often found myself in the shower crying and begging God or whatever other higher power was out there to just take me away.
My husband and I recognized this was not typical thought process of me and saw my family Doctor who referred me to a Psychiatrist for medication help and guidance.
The day of my Psychiatrist appointment I kissed my son and told him “Mommy will be right back” and optimistically and hopefully headed out for my appointment – I was finally getting help and all was going to be okay.
Boy, was I wrong.
During my appointment the Psychiatrist recognized the immediate need for pharmaceutical intervention and contacted the mental health clinic manager requesting that I meet with the clinics Nurse Practitioner but was informed she wasn’t in that day and had no openings the rest of the week.
Being worried about my health, and wanting to get me immediate help, the Psychiatrist I was seeing via webcam placed me on a Form 1 and requested that an ambulance transport me to hospital so I could be evaluated in person.
The clinic manager flat out refused this and despite the Psychiatrists many arguments indicating that this had happened and been possible in the past, the clinic manager insisted that police transfer was the way it was now done.
The Psychiatrist was assured that the police who were present (and waiting in the hallway) were with M-Heart and had specialized training to deal with such situations.
During all this time, I had been sitting in a small, approximately 8×8 room on a plastic chair, beside my husband, inside a locked hallway.
A therapist came into the room to try talking to me, but instead I mostly sat there crying.
As anyone who deals with mental health issues will know, being placed on a Form is one of your biggest fears, and this was coming true to me very unexpectedly.
I was worried about my son who was at home waiting for me to get back.
I was worried about my job as I had only taken the morning off work.
I was worried about being locked up “forever.”
I was worried that I really was “crazy” and that’s why I was being placed on a Form 1.
I was worried about the Police coming into my room, as someone who has never had any kind of real encounter with the police.
I was worried about what my husband was thinking about me, and about the situation.
My anxiety was growing rapidly and I was beginning to experience a panic attack at the unknown.
The therapist recognized this in me and was trying to calm me down by walking me through what was going to happen.
She assured me the police would eventually enter the room, that they at no point in time would touch me, that they would lead me out a backdoor of the clinic so that no one would see me, that they would discreetly follow my husband and I into the hospital and it would all be very discreet and calm and I had nothing to worry about.
Sometime later entered two Cobourg police officers and upon entering my room they said “Come with us” to which I responded “no” and following that they immediately grabbed me, one on each wrist.
I indicated that my hand was going purple from one of theirs grip to which he told me that it was just because I had been holding my water bottle before he had yanked it out of my hand.
They started yelling at me to stand up, and I was refusing because they were hurting me.
Over and over again I told them if they let go of me I would stand up, but they refused.
Eventually I stood up because I couldn’t take the pain in my wrists any longer and as soon as I did the woman officer placed me in handcuffs.
They led me out of the room and when I attempted to turn left towards the back entrance they pulled me right.
I told them I was told we would be leaving through a back entrance and they refused stating their vehicle was parked out front.
They then led me through an extremely busy clinic and down a set of stairs into the back of their SUV, all while cuffed with everyone staring at me.
Once we arrived at Northumberland Hills Hospital, they then led me through an extremely busy waiting room (it was a Monday morning) and into the extremely busy back, once again all while handcuffed with everyone staring at me.
I was humiliated beyond belief.
I requested for the female officer to remove the cuffs and she told me that I “Don’t get to control the situation” but did eventually remove them.
Once my room was ready, I was escorted there and they waited in the hall while a crisis worker spoke to me.
He, as well as every nurse and doctor I saw in my approximately two hour stay before I was released, were so kind and compassionate with me, unlike the Cobourg Police officers.
As quoted from my clinical notes, “Later I was contacted by (the Doctor) after the patient had been transported to NHH. (The Doctor) explained that the staff in the emergency were concerned about the negative impact on the patient apparently related to the police transportation”
Since this incident I have been suffering intense trauma and PTSD which I am seeing a wonderful therapist for.
She is actually the one who encouraged me to make my voice heard, to share my story and to fight for myself.
I have nightmares and panic attacks.
A once very social person, I am extremely withdrawn.
This situation is something that could have fully taken me down when I was at my lowest point, but instead I’ve chosen to speak up, stand up – I took my son on a memorable trip, and I’m hoping to build a community around myself and others who may have experienced this low in their life, we are not alone.
What was just another day at work for these individuals was the worst day of my life – because of them.
All I wanted was help, and instead I am left worse off than when I sought help. Asking for help shouldn’t hurt.
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Editor’s Note: Today’s Northumberland has reached out to the Cobourg Police Service for comment.
The individual has also filed a formal complaint with LECA – Law Enforcement Complaints Agency (LECA) which is responsible for receiving, managing and overseeing public complaints about misconduct of the following:
- All municipal, regional, and provincial (OPP) police officers;
- Special Constables employed by the Niagara Parks Commission;
- Peace Officers in the Legislative Protective Service; and
- First Nations police officers if the police service opts into the Community Safety and Policing Act (CSPA).
Author: Pete Fisher
Has been a photojournalist for over 30-years and have been honoured to win numerous awards for photography and writing over the years. Best selling author for the book Highway of Heroes - True Patriot Love
