For the 14th time, families and friends gathered in Port Hope on Sunday, October 4, to remember loved ones who are no longer with them.
Memorial Park was the starting point for Northumberland’s 14th Annual Walk to Remember, an event created and organized by Kim Spicher and her family as a place where people can come together, share their stories and, most importantly, say the names of those they have lost.
After taking a year off, Spicher returned this year with an emotional message for those gathered.
“I am happy that we are able to gather together again,” Spicher told the crowd.
She apologized for not holding the Walk in 2025, explaining that a number of changes in her life made the decision necessary.
“It was a really tough, horrible decision for me,” she said. “But here I am, and I am ready to Remember with you.”
For Spicher, the Walk is far more than an annual community event. It comes from the loss of her daughter, Charlee.
On April 6, 2010, Spicher was 24 weeks pregnant with her fourth child when she delivered Charlee, who died after her umbilical cord became wrapped around her neck five times.
“An accident, but I forever feel this guilt,” Spicher said.
The loss changed her life and left her searching for support.
“You need all the support you can get, but finding it, is tough,” she told those gathered.
“People feel very awkward around you.”
One of the hardest parts, she said, was watching the world continue moving forward while she was still grieving.
“When you seem to get over the shock of it, you realize that the world is already moving on and you have no choice to move on with it,” she said. “That is what I found the hardest, was ‘moving on.’”
Spicher also recalled difficult experiences following Charlee’s death, including hospital staff entering the room and offering congratulations because they were unaware of the loss.
Charlee’s hand and footprints were taken with a Sharpie marker because an ink pad was not available, but the prints eventually smudged and were lost.
Spicher said those experiences became part of her motivation to try to make things better for other families.
She said changes have since been made in hospitals, including the use of a butterfly on a door to alert staff that a loss has occurred.
The grief did not end with Charlee’s death.
Spicher said becoming pregnant again was difficult and filled with fear and mixed emotions. She and her family now have two “Rainbow” daughters, a term commonly used for children born following a pregnancy or infant loss.
“The struggles don’t always stop at the loss,” she said.
It was through that experience that Spicher realized how important it was to have a place where people could grieve without feeling uncomfortable or judged.
She recalled searching for a memorial walk after losing Charlee and discovering the closest one was in Toronto.
“I remember thinking, I wish there was something like that around here,” she said.
With encouragement from a friend, the Northumberland Walk to Remember was born.
Spicher said the event has become a place where strangers can support one another and where people are free to talk about their loved ones.
“A loss is a loss and here today, we all acknowledge that,” she said. “Nothing is minimized here.”
Although the Walk has its roots in pregnancy and infant loss, Spicher emphasized that everyone who has lost someone they love is welcome.
Sunday’s event included a walk from Memorial Park to the beach, where the names of loved ones were read and participants observed a moment of silence.
Instead of the balloon release that had been part of previous years, Spicher introduced colourful handheld windmills and bubbles.
She explained that the traditional balloon release had become increasingly difficult because of pressure and threats surrounding the practice.
At the beach, participants released bubbles as a symbolic gesture.
“Bubbles are like little moments of love being sent into the air,” Spicher said.
Music has also become an important part of the Walk.
Each year, Spicher chooses a song that connects her with Charlee and with other families who have experienced loss.
This year’s selection was “Angels Above Me.”
Spicher acknowledged that the song was not specifically written about losing a child, but said its message resonated with her belief that loved ones can remain present in our lives even after they are gone.
“For me, after Charlee passed away, I needed to believe that she was somewhere, and with me always,” she said.
She spoke about angels as symbols of hope, protection and encouragement, and about rainbows as symbols of beauty following difficult times.
For Spicher, Charlee has remained a part of her life for the 16 years since her death.
“My daughter Charlee, and many of your loved ones, never had the chance to walk beside us in this life, but she has walked with us through every year since we lost her,” she said.
Spicher also spoke openly about the darkest period following Charlee’s death.
“I didn’t want to live after having Charlee,” she told the crowd.
But the morning after her loss, with her family beside her, she knew she had to continue.
Now, she says, helping other families has become part of her healing.
“For me, helping others, helps me heal,” she said.
The Walk has also resulted in permanent memorials in the community, including a tree and plaque in Cobourg Park and a permanent memorial rock in Port Hope.
Spicher said a new Book of Remembrance will soon have a permanent home at Port Hope United Church, allowing families to visit the names of their loved ones.
The Walk is a free event and operates entirely through donations.
Spicher thanked the families and supporters whose donations helped cover almost all of this year’s expenses, including families remembering Rhonda, Theo, Sophia Grace, Baby Christie, January Christie, Carol, Laura and Charlee.
She also reminded those gathered about the annual Wave of Light on October 15.
At 7 p.m. in every time zone, people around the world are encouraged to light a candle for one hour in memory of babies and children who have died. As the hours move across the globe, the candles create what is described as a continuous wave of light.
Spicher also shared information about Camp Erin, a free weekend bereavement camp for children between the ages of six and 17 who have experienced the death of someone significant in their lives.
And in a deeply personal moment, she told the crowd about visiting New York City with her children this summer and finding the Church of the Holy Innocents, where Charlee’s name had been placed in a Book of Life.
The book was removed from its glass case so Spicher and her children could find Charlee’s name. They were also allowed to light a candle that would burn for seven days.
“I can’t even explain what kind of experience it was,” she said.
As Sunday’s Walk was about to begin, Spicher reminded everyone that while grief can be isolating, no one at the Walk had to face it alone.
She encouraged participants to introduce themselves, tell their stories, speak the names of their loved ones and support one another.
“I will not stop doing this Walk to Remember,” she said.
“I will continue to do what I can to help you and I remember our loved ones.”
And before leading the group toward the beach, Spicher saved her most personal thank-you for Charlee.
“The most important thank you is to you Charlee, for giving me the strength to do this for you and all the families who have lost a loved one,” she said.
“With all my heart and love, thank you to all of you for letting us remember with you.”
Author: Pete Fisher
Has been a photojournalist for over 30-years and have been honoured to win numerous awards for photography and writing over the years. Best selling author for the book Highway of Heroes - True Patriot Love
